


I Know A Bank Where The Wild Thyme Blows

by Fontainebleau



Series: See Me, Feel Me [5]
Category: The Magnificent Seven (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Humour, M/M, Or something which might pass for humour in a flattering light, Recovering in Rose Creek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 02:49:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9215423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fontainebleau/pseuds/Fontainebleau
Summary: On a warm evening down by the creek, footsteps are approaching...





	

Why do I sense there’s more to this than an evening’s stroll by the creek?

Lynch says you need exercise. Walking to and from the saloon isn’t it.

He didn’t say to make sure I left the town limits.

Come down this way and we can sit for a while.

Hell’s teeth, Billy, we’ve got a perfectly good bed at home we could be making use of. What’s the need for a romantic tryst outdoors?

We’ve been in the cabin since the summer. It’s a long time since we sat under the stars.

Ah, those nights in the desert: you never see the sky so bright. And the silence.

Not much of that with you around.

Right out there with no one else for miles around, just the coyotes and the moon.

Is this a particular desert night we’re recalling?

One memorable one, perhaps. Though not particularly silent, now I come to think of it.

Well, whose fault was that? 

Is this far enough for you? No lights in sight. 

Put your coat down, the grass is damp.

Billy, you’re priceless! I’ve seen you murder men in cold blood, and yet you fuss over me like a grandmother.

Come on. Lean back. _Hfff_.

‘ _I know a bank where the wild thyme blows, Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows, Quite over-canopied with luscious woodbine, With sweet musk-roses and with eglantine_.’

You’re drunk.

No, I’m inspired. You’re right, it has been too long.

Listen. It’s a big night out here.

And a tiny spinning world. Billy, I do know what this is about. I know you find the town too small, cher. I won’t be ill forever.

Goody, I’m not blaming you.

I know, _chéri_ , you’ve been very patient. And we will be moving on.

I feel like an exhibit all the time. Like that five-legged pig.

You are exotic, Billy. And you have to admit, the knives don’t really help you blend in.

I just want some time with you away from all the attention.

Have designs on my person, do you? I should have been advised before stepping out with such a dangerous character.

Too late now. 

I know. You plied me with drink, dulled my critical faculties, and tomorrow they’ll find me on the riverbank, a hollowed-out husk.

Perhaps a little overambitious, but we can see.

Listen, bullfrogs, quite the rural idyll.

Stop talking, Goody.

Mmm. _Mmmm_.

Like that? Mmm.

Mmmm. Ah.

Wait. 

_Wait_? That’s not the word for this particular moment. 

No, listen.

It’s a horse. Who’d ride out here in the dark? 

Let them go. Where were we? No, dammit, they’re stopping. 

Why would anyone chase us out here? 

Shit. Someone’s coming this way.

Listen, that walk: it’s got to be Faraday. What’s he doing out here on his own?

                        Fucksake, my leg! Ouf. Aah.

_Sitting down, by the sound of it, with a bottle. And, yup, lighting one of those appalling cigarillos._

_We should tell him we’re here._

_How? ‘Oh, surprise, here we are sitting in the dark like courting sweethearts?’_

_Point. Well, can we wait him out? I don’t suppose he’ll stay long, and I could find some occupation for my hands._

_What, twirling a - Oh no. Don’t you- Mmph._

_Bite down, Goody. That’s the way._

                        I don’t believe it. I don’t fucking believe it. It’s not been five goddamn minutes. 

_I don’t believe it either. Who now?_

_Who do you think?_

                        Were you following me?

                        Just wanted to make sure you didn’t get into trouble, _güero_.

                        Christ’s sake, can’t I get any privacy? 

                        I am invading your privacy? _Bueno_ , I’ll go. You want to sit alone and listen to the frogs, go ahead.

                        Aw, I didn’t mean to snap. I don’t mean you, Vas. ‘S just – look, sit down and keep me company.

_Shit._

_What do we do now?_

                        Just worrying about you, _güero_. You’re not so strong yet. 

                        Stop nannying me. I rode, OK. Jack’s grazing back up there. I’ll ride back.

                        I don’t even know how you got up on a horse. What possessed you to come right out here?

                        What do you think? Get me some peace, that’s what. I haven’t had a moment alone since I woke up.  
                        Everyone’s so _attentive_.

                        You nearly blew yourself up for them. They’re grateful.

                        Yeah, well I ain’t a grateful patient.

                        That’s not news, _pendejo_. You’re a trial.

                        It’s all so – prim. Clean sheets and no whisky and handholding and pats on the knee. Even from you.

                        You nearly died, Joshua. You have to have patience.

                        Ain’t never had no patience. You should know that. Quick and dirty, that’s me. Isn’t that how you like it?

                        Slow and dirty works for me too, _güero_. You should know that. 

_Son of a bitch!_

_You know what this means?_

_That we shouldn’t be listening?_

_No! It means I won my bet after all._

_My bearskin._

_Our bearskin. Which you are currently using._

_I need that fur, Billy. I’m still a sick man._

_Forget it: it’s mine. I’m going to sleep under it naked and make you watch._

_You’re a truly callous man, Billy Rocks._

                        You need to wait until you are well.

                        No I _don’t_. I didn’t die and I ain’t changed my character. C’mon, Vas, no one else around for once; want  
                        to take advantage?

                        Ridiculous man. You would faint.

                        I’m made of stern stuff, _amigo_. I can take whatever you’ve got to offer.

                         _Sicuramente? Bueno_.

_We can’t go on eavesdropping._

_Stop panicking. You know Faraday’s all talk._

_Not a risk I want to take. I’ll cough subtly._ Ahe- _Mmph._

_No! You do realise that having an audience probably wouldn’t stop him?_

                        Did you hear something?

                        Probably just a _martinete_.

                        A what? 

                        Noisy bird. Won’t stop squawking. Like you.

                        Aah! Now that’s more like it. Do it some mo– Aah!

_I don’t think I’ve recovered enough for this._

_I don’t think Faraday has recovered enough for this._

                         _Güero_ , I don’t think you’ve recovered en- Oof! Huh. Mmm.

                        Changed your mind, huh? Thought I might persuade you.

                         _Sí, cabrón_. Long past time.

                         Ow! No, don’t stop. Just don’t lean on my- Ow!

                        Do you have any idea what you are getting into here?

                        Uh. Aah. Ow! Hell, yes!

_Did you hear something?_

_Yes, I heard Faraday and Vasquez making out. It was harrowing._

_No, something else. Listen._

                        Wait. What was that?

                        No more waiting. Come here.

                        No, listen. Someone’s coming.

                        Damnation. Keep quiet. And still. _Still_ , Vas. I can see your teeth when you smile, you know.

                                                How come you see so well in the dark? I can’t tell a stump from a sleeping bear.

_Is that Teddy?_

                                                Dark isn’t dark. Only people who sit around candles in houses see dark. Sit.

                         _That’s Red!_

                                                Where? Ow. Oh. 

                                                I need to talk to you.

                                                Wasn’t expecting you to come back.

                                                I came for you.

                                                I hoped you would. Wasn’t sure. I missed you, Red.

_Red and Teddy?_

_Oh dear Lord. Do you think this is our fault? Blazing a trail and all?_

_Leading by example, you mean?_

                         _Teddy and Red? You have got to be kidding me._

                         _We should tell them we are here._ He- _Mmf._

                         _No! Be quiet. Bite me if you want, Vas. I enjoy it._

_Oh, that reminds me._

_Goody!_

                                                Where did you go?

                                                Out. Hunting. Learning my path.

                                                On your own?

                                                Because you wouldn’t come with me.

                                                Red, I thought about that. I thought about you.

_We really shouldn’t be listening to this. We’re old men, Billy, this evening damp’s not good for us._

_I think the ship of ‘Hey, we’ve been here all along’ sailed some time ago._

                                                I made this for you.

                                                What? I can’t- oh! Are those claws?

                                                Bear claws. And hawk feathers. To protect you.

                                                Red, that’s so- Put it on me? Wait, I’ll take my neckerchief off. 

_That’s so sweet._

                         _That’s so lame._

                         _Where’s your heart, cabrón?_

                         _Gave it to you, Manu._

_That’s so lame._

                                                Give me your hand. Here.

                                                You’re so warm.

_Oh no._

_Give me your hand._

_Billy, you’re so warm._

                         _Joshua, what are you doing?_

                         _Quit thrashing about, they’ll hear you. Wow, Vas, you’re so hot._

                                                Kiss you?

                         _Madre de Dios._

_Oh, for the love of God._

_Don’t you remember being nervous?_

_Vividly, cher. Every morning._

                         _Seriously, do people ask that? What the hell for?_

                         _Because unlike you they do not think a punch in the face is a successful outcome?_

                                                Mmm. Oh my.

                                                Here, let me …

                                                Red, with you it’s- Mmm.

                         _We should not be eavesdropping. It is not right._

                         _Are you kidding? It’s better than a travelling circus._

_I don’t want to hear this._

_I don’t want to hear this either._

                         _I do not want to hear this._

                         _Shut up! I want to hear this. Do you think they’re going to do it right here?_

                         _Not everyone is like you, Joshua, down on your knees at the drop of a hat._

                         _Never had a complaint yet. You sure seemed to appreciate it that time in the church._

_Please tell me I didn't hear that._

_I’ll never be free of that image again._

                                                What’s wrong?

                                                We should not need to be hiding in the dark. We should be together.

                                                It ain’t that simple, Red.

                                                You know I can’t stay here. I can’t live in a town.

                                                I know. I understand that.

                                                Then come with me. Be my lover. Be my tribe. Learn the land.

                                                I want to, Red, I do. But I wouldn’t be any use to you. I know about farming, and shooting,  
                                                a little. I can’t hunt. Can’t use a bow.

                                                 I could teach you. You would learn.

                                                It’s just – everything I know is here. It’s a lot to leave behind. And people are-

                        For fuck’s sake! Teddy, don’t be such a goddamn ass! Go with him.

                                                Aaah!

                                                Faraday? I will kill you.

Faraday’s a jerk, but for once he’s right.

                        Damn straight I – What? Rocks?

                                                What? What the-

                                                I will kill you both

Seriously, Teddy, staying in Rose Creek is the dumbest decision you’ll ever make. 

                                                I don’t believe this. 

                        Robicheaux?

                                                I will kill all three of you

                        What they said, _compadre_.

                                                What is this, a town council meeting? Exactly how many people are here?

Well, there’s me and Billy.

                        And me and Vas.

                                                I don’t think I can kill all four of you without a gun.

                                                How long have you-all been listening to us?

                        Only since… look, that’s not the question, is it? Goodnight, Billy, how long have you been here?

Oh, we didn’t hear anything. Not that there was anything to hear. I imagine. Just, y’know, bullfrogs and nightbirds and so forth.

                        You and Billy were listening to us? Why did you not say anything?

                                                If you and Mr Faraday were here when we arrived, why didn’t you say something? 

                        It was hilarious, that’s why.

If you want to kill him, I assure you that nobody will hear about it from us.

In fact I could help you dispose of the body.

                        Defending me, Vas?

                        Not really, _güero_.

                                                Why didn’t you tell us they were here? Or you were here? Or…what the hell is going on?

                                                You are all dead men.

Oh come on now, Red, just a trivial misunderstanding.

                                                You were _listening_.

                        Oh, no, totally preoccupied, us.

We can vouch for that, can’t we, Billy?

                        I thought you didn’t hear anything.

Oh, no, we didn’t. Too wrapped up in- Ow!

Goody, we should go.

Yes, we should go. You boys need some privacy. Um. Not that we heard anything that might suggest…

                         _Sí_ , we need to … take the horses back. Check up on the stables.

                        What? Oh, yes, stables. Hayloft. Hay. That kind of thing.

                        You are an idiot.

Follow your heart, Teddy. I’ve never regretted it.

                                                Thank you, sir.

Don’t let anyone tell you what to do.

                                                No, Mr Rocks. I won’t.

                        Go with him, Teddy. I never figured on a Mexican, but you’ve gotta recognise a good thing when you see  
                        it.

                        I am right here, you know. Being Mexican. Listening. 

                                                I am here listening too. Thank you all for telling my boyfriend to come with me, but I  
                                                think I could have managed to convince him myself.

                                                You’ve certainly made me see the attraction of living alone with Red in the desert.

                        Teddy, it is a big world out there. Do not cage yourself in.

                                                Thank you for all your advice, but now you’ve all had your say can we just pretend this  
                                                 never happened?

Right, well, Billy and I’ll be heading back into town. We have a bearskin of debatable ownership to investigate. G’night all.

My threat stands. Just so you know.

Threat, was it? I thought it was a promise...

                        Yeah, we’ll be getting back too. C'mon, Vas, help me up from here. I think I pulled something.

                        You are so annoying. Do I have to carry you to your horse?

                        Like you could. Oh! Hey! Ow....     

                                                Living in this town must drive men mad. Why were they hiding out here in the night?

                                                How did you not know they were there? I thought you had the senses of a coyote.

                                                I was distracted. You smell so good.

                                                Do I? Maybe I should back off a bit so you can see if there’s anyone else here? Mr Horne  
                                                 walking out with the widow Frankel, ready to warn us about Sodom and Gomorrah?

                                                Sodom and Gomorrah?

                                                Ah – never mind. Not important right now. Hear anything?.

                                                Only frogs and night birds.

                                                I wonder what they-all were doing out here, anyway.

                                                I think there is only one thing to do by the creek on a night like this. Come here.

                                                 _Hfff_. Just you, me and the stars. I sincerely hope.

                                                Hush, Teddy. Listen to the night.


End file.
